ur-friendly-local-memer:

marzipanandminutiae:

little-niggah-sugar:

hi-def-doritos:

amityravenclawelf:

dragonpuppies:

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled!

Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: *sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm*

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Lo, hast thou learned to read?

Elizabethan Peasant 2: Verily, and to compose as well.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: With haste, then, how is the word “i cup” composed?

Elizabethan Peasant 1: what ho, I know a sporting jest! What art thou when thou art a peasant and art occupied in a privy?

Elizabethan Peasant 2: I wist not, but certain am I that thou shalt tell me speedily.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Most verily, thou art a peon.

Elizabethan Child: Father, I have not yet broken fast and am filled with pangs of hunger.

Elizabethan Father: Hail, Filled With Pangs Of Hunger! Mine own name is Wybert.

Elizabethan Scholar 1: Alack, I have in my purse but sixty-nine pence.

Elizabethan Scholar 2: Lusty fellow, knowst thou well what such a sum portends!

Elizabethan Scholar 1: I…I have not sufficient to sup on fowl.

Elizabethan Scholar 1: Mine name is verily Micheal with a ‘b’, and I hast been afraid of insects mine entire life.

Elizabethan Scholar 2: Cease cease cease. Wither is the bee?

Elizabethan Scholar 1: Thither is a bee?

kihba:

in 2019 we normalize casually wearing fake fangs

colorogasm:

Always Remember:

  1. kissing can and will, get boring.
  2. its ok to go to sleep on opposite sides.
  3. forgetting favorites, dates and replies is only human.
  4. you dont have to like, or be friends with all of their friends and vice-versa.
  5. they have a right to spend weekends dedicating to their friends and family. you have the same right.
  6. privacy is still in play.
  7. trying simple things that they like, no matter how much you are sure you will dislike it, is a very small step you can take to show your love to them.
  8. you dont gotta have the same taste in music, food, books etc.
  9. saying i love you, thank you, take care, please and i missed you really helps.
  10. you cant agree with all their life decisions and they cant with yours. keeping an open mind and having an honest and deep discussion about it helps. 
  11. they dont need your permission to do things and neither you need theirs.
  12. the intention and care behind the gift matters. not its price tag. 
  13. dont try and change them. help them become better versions of themselves and get the same help and support and care from them. 
  14. know what matters most and focus on that.

fresh-honey:

i love alice and bella’s relationship honestly, they’re such curl up on the couch and dish kind of friends. they do disagree on fashion, but that’s almost for the best because it gives them something inconsequential to tease each other endlessly about. they also text each other from the same room all the time so no one will hear them gossip (except edward, who is fully under their control)

edwardsgay:

Bella in New Moon: no! pwease don’t hurt Edward Mr. Volturi men please I love him!

Bella in Breaking Dawn:

image
Honestly tho we were deprived of soft artist boy Jacob and for that I'll never forgive smeyers
ree-duh

islesme:

god I really would have cried. his pants and shirts are always covered in grease and paint stains. he spends hours, days, weeks, even months carving tiny charms (and various other items) out of wood. Charle has so much of his work displayed throughout the house and it always makes Jake so happy.

michaelnordeman:

A couple of roe deers on a November morning.

twilight-mademegay:

twilightdee:

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image

I-

If I could just ignore this whole part of the series-

☮ - friendship headcanon for emmett/esme!!
smallsnaomi

esmeanne:

omg i love them sm

  • They’re so chaotic. I’ve said this a million times but they’re Chaotic Good icons.
  • They go grocery shopping for Bella and later Jacob and the rest of the back together and it’s wild. They buy anything any everything. They fill multiple carts, Emmett yells for Esme across the store when he loses her.
  • Esme helped Emmett plant some flowers in the garden for him to give to Rosalie. She taught him how to be careful of his vampire strength so that he wouldn’t damage the flowers.
  • They love to compete. Just lil things like board games or something. Connect four, tic tax tow, whatever. They don’t care what it is they always have fun together.
  • They love to race!! Emmett’s stronger but Esme is faster so she usually wins. They race on land, hop from trees.
  • Emmett’s the one the start the tradition of celebrating Esme on Mother’s Day.
  • When the Wii first came out Esme and Emmett spent days playing Wii Boxing.
  • When they play the nintendo together, Esme is Mario and Emmett is Luigi.
  • Emmett helps her out in her garden more than anyone else. He doesn’t even do anything really, just sits beside her and chats. Sometimes he carries bags of soil and stuff for her even though she could do it herself.
  • They like to cook together. Esme likes to try out all kinds of different recipes for their new werewolf friends. They have pinterest pages and are constantly sending each other different recipes.
  • They love amusement parks. Esme and Emmett go together on rainy days sometimes. They wait in those annoying lines to ride the newest, craziest roller coasters.
  • I wrote a fic about this and it remains one of my favorite hc’s. Esme and Emmett didn’t grow up with the privileged childhoods and educations that Rosalie and Edward had. They hadn’t been to college or medical school like Carlisle, hadn’t spent centuries learning. When Emmett joined the family and was able to go to school, he struggled a little when it came to keeping up with his peers. It wasn’t that Emmett was any less intelligent but his childhood had been spent helping his parents, hunting, etc. He struggled and it was embarrassing when he looked around at his vampire family of Geniuses. Esme noticed one day and shared that she had felt the same way upon joining the family. Carlisle was a brilliant doctor and Edward was doing so well in school, was taking college classes. They could discuss theories and books and authors that she’d never even heard of; they were masters and chess and cards and music while she struggled to keep up with any of it. Esme told Emmett that he had nothing to be ashamed of, that after he had decades behind him he’d be able to breeze through high school as well. She told him that there was more to life, more to one’s worth than school anyway. That even if he never managed to master geometry or whatever science class he was trying to pass, he wouldn’t be thought of as any less than Rose or Edward or Carlisle.
  • Emmett and Esme don’t even realize it but they are absolutely the glue that holds the family together. They bring more joy to the household than they know. They’re laughter, they’re infectious good spirits keep the Cullens going.